First things first YOU ARE SO DESERVING OF LOVE. You deserve to get your needs met in a relationship.
AND it's important to learn to self soothe and take care of yourself when you're feeling insecure or anxious in a relationship, especially if you're more on the anxious attachment side of the spectrum.
Little video on how to refocus on yourself and your own enjoyment, lean back into yourself, affirm your worthiness, and communicate your needs. Comment below if this resonates with you!
Today I heard from a client: I hate that I am needy. And my response was - hold on a second. You are a human being, not a robot. Human beings are BORN bidding for connection. Think of a little newborn baby. The moment a baby is born, they reach out, cry out, express need to be held close and comforted.
The human need for connection is inherent and is wired into our attachment systems and nervous systems. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you for having needs. In fact, that desire for connection is a sign of health.
Right now, I’m stuck in the comparison trap. That’s exactly what the comparison trap does to us - makes us completely stuck. Unable to move, express, take action. It just sucks our energy, self-esteem, confidence, creativity, and uniqueness and makes us hide, stay small, stay invisible.
I am currently in the midst of being trained in a profoundly beautiful trauma therapy modality called Somatic Experiencing. I’m just coming off of the first 4-day weekend intensive of my intermediate year of training, and I am struck by the simplicity, depth, and effectiveness of this work in healing traumas of all kinds. I am drawn to share my knowledge of this work so far, as it holds the potential to be transformational for all of us.
I noticed recently that I have been experiencing a lot of emotional ups and downs. I will be feeling happy and positive, and then something will shift and I’ll start feeling irritated, down about myself, and generally in a bad mood! And it’s so annoying! But it gets worse. I find myself getting stuck in these negative states, then getting mad at myself for being in a bad mood, and then trying to force myself out of the mad mood and failing. It’s a downward spiral. I’ve started to investigate further into this pattern, and discovered a deeper theme: resistance versus ease.
Danielle shares thoughts, insights, and musings through blog posts here. Topics relate to mindfulness, spirituality, and healing.